- "I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.
- I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself.
- Those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.
- I am what I am; I cannot change; I am hopeless."
Now like I said, these are false beliefs and have to be refuted and then replaced with a truer belief that can help us function in an emotionally healthy way.
Even though I teach this everyday and know the truth, I often find that the first belief creeps into my life. "I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself." When I run, I set certain goals for myself. At the point the goal is set, it becomes imperative in my mind that it is reached. To do anything less would be failure. And failure is not an option. Because I run, I need to look a certain way. I should look fit and trim in a bathing suit and not have a body like a 38 year old woman who has given life to two beautiful children. Now this is all in my mind. If I do not meet the goal, it does not mean I am a failure, but simply that I did not meet the goal. And the reality is that I am 38 and my body has carried two children to full term and is changed forever because of that.....and it is OK.
Sometimes I do not meet the goal. Mile 17 of Charlotte, Thunder Road Marathon. I am trying to convince Matt to allow me to quit and take me home. He wouldn't and I finish with a 4:05. This is 20 minutes off my goal.